In 2013 I paused my career as a Physician Assistant when my family of three moved from Seattle to England. As menopause wracked my world, I made the tough decision to leave my 23-year marriage. At the same time, I experienced what my friend Joanna Meriwether has called The Sex Surge, and it quite literally took over my mental and physical life. With it came an enormous sexual appetite and drive to question my conventional attitudes towards relationships.
The UK's Erotic Review Magazine gave me a column where I could combine my medically trained interest in research and data with my expanding interest in sex and love (along with an elevated sense of my own opinion!). I called the column 'Savvy Love' and roughly monthly, I've written on topics such as how a Magic Ratio will foster a harmonious relationship, the science behind squirting orgasms, and the possibility that pornography is making us crappy real-life lovers. (For the complete archive of my Erotic Review Magazine columns, click here.)
In April 2018, the New York Times published my essay, 'What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity' in their Modern Love column. The response was both incendiary and edifying. The piece went viral and became the #1 in Styles that year. Clearly, a sensitive American nerve had been touched and the private outpouring of gratitude for talking about a sexless marriage helped balance the public condemnation of my former liaisons.
'Savvy Love' is a place that asks us to be curious, to communicate both verbally and sensually, to consider all the many ways there are to be a 21st Century lovers. Foremost, it is about loving; generously, fearlessly and confidently. Subscribe below and roughly monthly I'll send out a newsletter with my Erotic Review articles, as well as other current research and tidbits about the things that affect our emotional lives. Join me. Let's get savvy about sex and love.